I do not want to cry and be depressed and sleep all day this year. I want to be happy and do things and have passion about the things i do.
Sadly i dont know how to do that. I dont know where to start or even what to do... When it comes to doing things.
Christmas holiday was a vacation for me. I both dont want it to end because i know whats waiting for me.. Along with exams... and I want it to end and I wanna get on with life again. And yet again unfortunately i dont have the passion or interest about the things i do anymore. Every day is the same as other. I hope to be okay when i am focused on my internship for one month or so but still, till then... And about the exams i will have, i have doubts and anxiety. Because i wasnt really able to function well last couple of months. It has been a downhill in some way but yes i feel like its gonna go up from now on, no i dont have hope but i just feel that way. Since i feel like it was the deepest point that i could be last couple of months. I hope i am right.
I am looking forward to living with my parents for a while again. Its not gonna be amazing but being busy and surrounded with them, i think it will help. I hope so. I missed my friends a lot. I missed meeting them and chatting and laughing uncontrollably. I just missed hanging around. Out and about. Hopefully i will soon, again.
But i also fear things. In my home country... Lets say its not going nicely. And i certainly dont want to be trapped in there. Or worse...
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